Hide Behind These Bangs

These are not good times we live in. I asked politely for help and things got worse. I don't understand how this world works. There is nothing I wish for more than the ability to fix everything. I think that that is what is upsetting me the most - my childish uselessness.

Nobody is sleeping well here. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and my mother came into my room to make sure everything was okay. I don't even know how she heard me. Even though in daylight people are acting normal, I guess it's true that the dark shows you how people really are.

This topic hasn't seriously come up in a while. I don't know how to deal. I think I need to get some air... but there doesn't seem to be enough to satisfy me, even on the windiest of days. It doesn't even seem to matter how fast I drive... this is inescapable.

I'm so lost. I don't know what to do. I don't think there is anything I can do though. I guess there never really is anyways. I wish there was somebody to help me... but where to I search when the adults are in way over their heads?

Take Me Anywhere But Here.

Things have gone from bad to worse... and nobody is dealing very well. It's times like these that make you band together or fall apart. We aren't banding. In fact, I feel like the child that you want to keep secrets from. Oh wait - I am. I'm always the last to know. Everyone has known for a while. I'm not surprised. It's just that people should share the news as soon as they get it. I'm just trying to front such a good face. I must thread carefully... any sudden moves would be disastrous. She is hoping for a miracle... I just want to get through this. I've already seen glimpses... it's not pretty. I must say, there are some really brave faces here. But I know anyone with a heart is headed towards shambles. Dear God, please help my family.